Pop star and teen heartthrob Shawn Mendes may appear sweet and polite on the... more »

Full Credits

CAST:
Shawn Mendes - Himself
Dan Klein - Limo Driver
Ben Parks - Homeless Guy
Doug Jones - Blind Man

Stats & Data

370Funny
253Die
1,804,775
Views
September 25, 2016
Published

Transcript

Dan Klein: Alright, I gotta go.
Dan Klein: This punk teen pop star
Shawn Mendes is staring at me
Dan Klein: with his arrogant
little teenage eyes.
Dan Klein: Well, c'mon,
he's a pop star.
Dan Klein: I'm not falling for his little
sweet Canada boy act.
Dan Klein: I see right through him.
He's an asshole.
Shawn Mendes: Hey, I'm Shawn.
Dan Klein: Sure. Yeah.
That's your real name?
Okay.
- Nice car. Nice care.
- Mhmm.
Dan Klein: Sorry you're slumming
it in this guy.
Shawn Mendes: Uh, bag in the back,
trunk?
Dan Klein: Yeah, bags go
in the trunk.
Shawn Mendes: Cool.
Dan Klein: [scoffing]
Jeez, this is going to
be a long ride.
[ trunk closes ]
[ rock music ]
[ indistinct talking ]
Dan Klein: Whoa, whoa, hey, hey.
No booze in my car.
Shawn Mendes: Oh, it's water
Dan Klein: Oh, "water"?
Dan Klein: That's what Frank Sinatra said
he was drinking in '83,
and look where he is now.
Dan Klein: He's dead.
Dan Klein: Oh, now you're
popping pills?
- Class act--
- No, no, no, it's just ibuprofen.
I have a bit of a headache.
Dan Klein: [scoffs] Sure. That's what
they call it now, a headache?
Shawn Mendes: Excuse me, sir, sorry to bother you,
do you mind turning down the radio?
- I just-- I have to--
- Oh, of course.
Dan Klein: I wouldn't want to hurt our little
spoiled princes ear drums.
Shawn Mendes: Oh, no, no, no, I just--
I have to call the soup kitchen
I volunteer at
Shawn Mendes: to wish them
happy Wednesday.
Shawn Mendes: Hey guys.
Happy Wednesday. I just--
Shawn Mendes: How are you guys doing?
Good?
- Probably ordering more pills.
- No, no, no. I'll see you soon. Okay?
Shawn Mendes: Yeah, I'm going
to come in.
Shawn Mendes: Okay.
Dan Klein: Oh great, another spoiled
teen with a knife.
Dan Klein: That's probably not
even his mail.
Dan Klein: You know that's a federal
offense bub. I should know.
Dan Klein: I've done it many times.
Shawn Mendes: Oh, no, no, no, I'm just
opening some fan letters.
[ scoffs ]
Shawn Mendes: This is the nicest
note I've ever read.
Shawn Mendes: Thank you so much
Lisa from Topeka.
Dan Klein: I bet these pop star teens don't
even know where Topeka is anymore.
Shawn Mendes: Note to self. Send Lisa from
Topeka a wild sunflower.
The state flower of Kansas.
Dan Klein: You leave that
young girl alone.
Shawn Mendes: Oh, excuse me sir, do you mind
pulling over just a second please?
Dan Klein: Yes, your majesty.
Shawn Mendes: Excuse me. Sir. Hey.
Do you need a ride?
- Hi. I would love a ride.
I need--
- Are you sure you don't mind?
- Yeah, yeah, no probably. Just follow me.
- I got the car right over here.
- You have a car.
- That's great.
- Yeah, yeah. No problem.
- Take your time. Take your time.
- Oh, wow. Thank you.
Shawn Mendes: No-No problem.
Dan Klein: Who's this guy?
This your entourage?
Dan Klein: My service didn't come.
They were supposed to pick
me up an hour ago.
- Oh, that's fine.
- And they didn't show up--
Dan Klein: What do you think
this is Mendes, huh?
Dan Klein: You think I just pick people up,
and drive them to where they need to go?
- Yeah. That is what you do.
- You have no idea how the world works.
Dan Klein: I was told there
would be one person!
One person!
- I didn't sign up for any entourage.
- Look, we'll pay you whatever you need.
Just please--
Dan Klein: DRIVER: My car isn't a hotel room
you can just smash and destroy...
Dan Klein: DRIVER: ...whatever prostitute or
celebrity you brought along.
Shawn Mendes: SHAWN: You gotta really focus on the road,
because the traffic--
- I wasn't that prostitute!
- Please! Just focus on the road!
Dan Klein: DRIVER: Oh, you--
you don't tell me how to do my job!
- [ indistinct talking ]
- [ Driver starts yelling ]
[ car crashes ]
♪ ♪

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