Jesus of Nazareth takes to the streets of New York City to ask his flock which of their sins did he die for this Easter.

Transcript

Easter is the Christian
holiday celebrating my
rise from the grave
after I was crucified,
days prior.
Hi,
I'm Jesus of Nazareth,
and today I'll be hitting
the streets asking people,
Which of Your Sins
Did I Die for?
I killed a lot of deers,
but legally.
So, you can't take
me to jail for it.
Is murder a sin?
If so, murder.
Can we get a selfie?
Come here.
Instagram.
I coach college
football.
So, it's probably something
to do with that.
Is it a sin to sleep with
really old people,
like, really old?
I've never seen
The Wire.
I'm going to
vote for Trump.
What sins of yours
did I die for?
Butt stuff?
Oh, you know what I do?
I go through the drive through,
and I order 2 value
meals, and I pretend
I have a kid in
the back seat.
I'm a Muslim, but I usually
only pray 4 times a day.
Sorry Jesus.
Oh man, I've been coveting
the shit out of my
neighbor's dog
lately, man.
All the times I ate the
wrong kind of fats?
Probably all the slut
shaming that I do,
but I don't know if that's
a sin, or if that's just
politically incorrect.
Ah man, probably that thing
I do where I go to 7-Eleven.
Then I open up all the sodas
just a little bit so they're
flat when someone
buys one.
[maniacal laughter]
I'm Jesus of Nazareth reporting
for Funny or Die News.
My sin that I've died for is
I refuse to recycle.
Yeah. I'm not going to do it.
You can't make me do it.
Not going to recycle ever.
[Funny or Die News theme playing]

Advertisement
Advertisement