After leaving Superman to house sit for him in Gotham, Batman returns to discover... more »

Full Credits

Written by Dan Abramson
Animation by Hector M. Padilla
Zack Poitras as Superman
Matt Klinman as Batman
Editor: Carina Jollie

Transcript

[music playing]
Matt Klinman: Good to be back.
Zack Poitras: There he is.
Matt Klinman: Thanks for looking after
Gotham, and house sitting for
Matt Klinman: me while I was
gone Superman.
Zack Poitras: Hey, we all
need vacations.
Matt Klinman: Anything I
should know?
Zack Poitras: Nah, pretty quiet.
Joker killed a few cops.
Zack Poitras: But I gathered he
does that often.
Matt Klinman: It's like a pick a new
hobby already, buddy.
[they both laugh]
Matt Klinman: And Alfred?
Zack Poitras: Fantastic.
Zack Poitras: He showed me where
the batmobile is, the gadgets,
Zack Poitras: the lose cushion on the
ground where you have
Zack Poitras: sex with him before
you go fight crime.
Matt Klinman: What?
Zack Poitras: You know, the lose cushion
on the ground that's right
Zack Poitras: near the batmobile where you
have sex with him, and then...
Matt Klinman: You had sex
with Alfred?
Zack Poitras: Yes. Yeah.
Of course I did.
Zack Poitras: You know, it's what
you do before you
Zack Poitras: go fight crime.
Matt Klinman: What do you mean,
it's what you do?
Zack Poitras: Alfred told me that
it's just the tradition that
Zack Poitras: for good luck or what
have you, you know...
Zack Poitras: you get ready to go, and
then you have sex with him on the
Zack Poitras: loose cushion near
the batmobile, and then
Zack Poitras: you get in the batmobile,
and then you...
Matt Klinman: Me?
Zack Poitras: Yes.
Matt Klinman: I have seen with him
on a loose cushion?
Zack Poitras: Yeah. That's
what he said.
Zack Poitras: So I was like hey, I'm not
one to go rock the boat.
Zack Poitras: I'll go along with it.
Zack Poitras: So, yeah, you know,
we had sex.
Matt Klinman: Alright. I never have
sex with Alfred.
Zack Poitras: Oh.
Matt Klinman: I've known him since
I was a child.
Matt Klinman: He-He's basically a
father figure to me.
Zack Poitras: You know, finding
this out, I do feel
Zack Poitras: super embarrassed now.
Zack Poitras: I feel like I've been
tricked a little bit.
Zack Poitras: But, did I have a
good time? Yes.
Zack Poitras: Has this happened before?
Zack Poitras: Absolutely.
Matt Klinman: You've been tricked into
fucking someone before?
Zack Poitras: Oh yes. Absol...yes.
Zack Poitras: The Joker, earlier,
this morning--
Matt Klinman: You had sex with
the Joker?
Zack Poitras: He told me that, that's what
you guys did before you
Zack Poitras: started battling.
Matt Klinman: What?
Zack Poitras: Yeah. He said, before we
battle, Batman and I usually
Zack Poitras: 69 for a while, and
then we get going.
Matt Klinman: I have never 69'd
with the Joker.
Zack Poitras: Are you sure? Because, I
mean, he definitely acted like
Zack Poitras: he knew what he was doing,
and he had done it before, with you.
Matt Klinman: No. That's insane.
Matt Klinman: He's my worse enemy.
I hate the Joker.
Matt Klinman: Why would I suck his
dick while he sucks my dick?
Zack Poitras: Well, you know, keep
your enemies closer.
Zack Poitras: I thought you just took
that to it's one extreme.
Matt Klinman: No.
Zack Poitras: Okay, you know.
Zack Poitras: Hey, we're all learning
lessons here, alright.
Zack Poitras: So I--
Matt Klinman: So you got to the
scene of a crime--
Zack Poitras: Right.
Matt Klinman: --the joker
was there,
Zack Poitras: Yep.
Matt Klinman: --you were about to fight him,
but then you paused everything,
Matt Klinman: took off your clothes,
and 69'd with him.
Zack Poitras: You know?
Zack Poitras: Hey, when in Gotham...
that's what I thought...
Matt Klinman: When in Gotham?
Zack Poitras: Yeah, you know.
Go with the flow,
Zack Poitras: and that's what I thought
the flow was, you know.
Matt Klinman: Alright. You know what?
Matt Klinman: Whatever you do with
your body it's your choice.
Matt Klinman: Let's just be done
with this argument.
Zack Poitras: Sure.
Matt Klinman: Alright.
Matt Klinman: You want to have sex?
Matt Klinman: Usually when I'm done
arguing with someone
Matt Klinman: I have sex with them.
Zack Poitras: Absolutely.

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