Donald Trump kicks off his presidency by terrifying the utter living sh*t out of everyone.

Full Credits

Transcript

[applause]
Mike O'Gorman: [Donald] Fellow Americans
and people of the world
Mike O'Gorman: thank you very much.
Mike O'Gorman: Now, hold on to your pussy's
because I'm about to stop being polite
Mike O'Gorman: and start getting real, okay.
America is a dump folks.
Mike O'Gorman: Rusted-out factories are scattered like
tombstones across the landscape of our nation.
Mike O'Gorman: Every person stays home
all day because Obama,
Mike O'Gorman: who is absolutely fantastic by the way,
Mike O'Gorman: got rid of all the jobs, okay.
Mike O'Gorman: We're living in a bad
bad place where babies... babies
Mike O'Gorman: eat rats for dinner, okay.
Mike O'Gorman: Breasts are getting smaller and
smaller than ever before, okay.
Mike O'Gorman: American institutions are crumbling
to dust before our very eyes, okay,
Mike O'Gorman: and that dust is reforming into
ominous temples of doom,
Mike O'Gorman: and it's those temples, let me tell you,
Mike O'Gorman: that swallow our beautiful
women and children whole.
Mike O'Gorman: Chomps them up, spits out their bones.
Mike O'Gorman: Liberal college professors are
brainwashing our kids using PC poison.
Mike O'Gorman: You can't even use the word pussy
anymore without being called an [bleep]
Mike O'Gorman: by a bunch of other pussies.
Mike O'Gorman: We let foreign countries
use American ink and paper
Mike O'Gorman: to put themselves on our world maps.
Uh-uh.
Mike O'Gorman: Dust bunnies are flying into your
American mouth while you sleep.
Mike O'Gorman: Buckets of blood
pouring out of hotel elevators.
Mike O'Gorman: Crime, streets, schools, walls, gangs,
Mike O'Gorman: blacks, Mexicans,
carnage, carnage, carnage, carnage.
Mike O'Gorman: Together, we will make
America strong again.
Mike O'Gorman: We will make America wealthy again.
We will make America proud again.
Mike O'Gorman: We will make America safe again.
Mike O'Gorman: And yes, together we will
make America great again.
Mike O'Gorman: Now if you'll excuse me
I'm gonna go take a big [bleep]...
Mike O'Gorman: in Obama's toilet.
Mike O'Gorman: Have a great weekend everyone.
Mike O'Gorman: TGIF. We'll see you soon.

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