The Most Ridiculous Things From Last Night's The Walking Dead - S08E04 "Some Guy"
The Most Ridiculous Things From Last Night's The Walking Dead - S08E04 "Some Guy"
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Father Gabriel has a creepy smile and Negan's got rhymes. The most ridiculous things from last night's 'The Walking Dead' S08E05 "The Big Scary U".
- November 20, 2017
- 230k Views
November 20, 2017
- [Narrator] Ah, the refreshing flavor
of Father Gabriel classic.
I remember this guy, he sucks, a lot.
Not dissimilar to these very weird time jumps
they keep making that don't really do anything
for the story except piss me off.
Well, I'm sure when this pointless crap is over
we'll finally get back to that scene we've been
waiting for for over 130 minutes of television.
Instead we're getting back to back shitty time jumps.
They got all none of our letters demanding it.
But at least we finally learned what was up
with Gregory and those pancakes.
Yes, he ate them.
But only because Simon told him
to fill his belly up with his love.
And I honestly don't know if that's the worst way
to tell another man to eat your pancakes, or the best way.
And the mystery of that question will haunt me
for the rest of my days.
Not sure how Gregory missed the memo
and thinks Negan doesn't like to kill people.
Negan kills people all the time,
and he's literally sitting there cradling his
murder bat covered in the brains of his enemies.
It's not exactly the toughest case to crack.
Gregory's twitter bio has said he's the guy, for some time.
But he is so not the guy, he's...
what's the word I'm looking for?
- A thin dicked politician threading the needle
with your thin, thin dick.
- [Narrator] Okay, that was several words,
but that, that's definitely Gregory.
Seeing those bat marks on the table
instantly made me wonder, "Just how many
other things Negan is banging his bat about
during these meetings."
People are a resource and I'm getting real
sick and tired of whoever keeps taking
my lunch out of the fridge,
it clearly says big dick motherfuck suck right on the bag.
Also they should hire the season eight effects unit
that put bat holes in the table to put
some bullet holes in cars.
Guys, please cut this crap out.
It's very bad and lazy and I should
know what that's all about,
because it's kind of my wheelhouse.
This is the third time jump before the opening credits.
It's also the third time Negan has referenced a penis
before the opening credits.
And you're using all of this mess to
distract us from the fact
that there's really no reason Father Gabriel
didn't shoot Negan in the face
and just when you really start thinking about it,
they hit you with this weird dissolve
so your brain has something else to be mad about.
They're using the method of distraction
pioneered by R. Kelly,
when you throw an endless barrage
of things that should cause outrage
and as a result people get fatigued
and don't know what to be mad about
so they're not mad at anything.
It's kind of a genius strategy,
like shitting in your pants to
cover up your fart on a road trip.
Okay, that is now the fourth time
Negan has mentioned a penis before the opening credits.
Father Gabriel's right about this one,
everything happens for a reason
and that's true whether you're falling in love
or finding yourself trapped in a hopeless
situation for the rest of your short life.
Forcing creepy smile, waiting to hear
someone confess their many wrongs and shortcomings.
Wait, I think I accidentally just
used falling in love as an example twice.
Alright you bastard, tell us what
we want to know or we will--
Not sure there's a whole lot more they
can really do to mess up this guy's afternoon.
It would appear his afternoon is certifiably boned.
I love that as soon as they hear short haired psycho
lady, they know Carol's fine.
Because who else could that be besides Carol.
Also did anyone else think this dying guy
was really saying a lot for a dying dude?
He even signed off the conversation.
And Rick rewards him for tattling with the friendly
gesture of angrily stabbing him in his brain.
Jeez, Negan, telling a priest you jerked off
where he's sitting is some absolutely abhorrent behavior
and based on the timeline of the show,
Negan could get an executive level job at a movie studio
for a solid four years before people realize
this kind of stuff is not okay.
Simon telling Dwight he needs to
face reality is a waste of breath.
Have you seen Dwight's face?
It's all reality all the time.
Okay, sorry, half reality all the time.
Simon's the one that looks and talks like
a God damn video game character.
He's the one who needs the reality check.
Knock knock. Who's there?
A grown ass man cradling a bunch of primo cukes.
No shit that pun was intended,
you are holding pickles while saying the word pickles.
Honestly just hitting Dwight over the head
with the pickles would have been more subtle.
Maybe stop talking and whistling and the
zombies won't be karate chopping
through the walls to get in.
But I can't really blame them for trying
gain access to this plethora of conversation
about dicks and jacking off.
Two of the only things worth talking
about as far as I'm concerned.
Father Gabriel made a bold dice roll
mentioning Negan's wives to get under his skin.
Wait a minute, every one of those ladies made a choice?
I've heard this one before,
Negan really does have successful
Hollywood creep written all over his bat.
And we learn a little bit about Negan's origin.
He was a teacher, cool I'm sure his students
really appreciated him endlessly talking about wangs,
I know I would have found that hilarious.
And he had a real wife before the sham wives.
Slow down please, we've been aware of Negan
for 30 episodes and now we know two things about him.
It's honestly too much, too fast.
I can't figure out why Daryl isn't taking Rick's
message about non-violence seriously
when Rick is covered in another man's face-blood.
The whole Rick versus Daryl storyline
they've been masterfully building towards
for two whole episodes is lame.
And I'm simply not buying it without some
kind of dramatic drum roll.
(dramatic drum roll)
Hmm, okay I take it back, I'm on board now.
I'm as shocked as the next guy
that Rick tossing a bag of dynamite
into a car wreck leaking gasoline ended badly.
That's what I like about this show,
it keeps me guessing and there's no way
I could have guessed this is where we'd be at
when I watched the first episode in 2010.
Honestly I feel like I'm in an abusive
long term relationship with someone
who has changed so dramatically and no
longer considers my needs,
but I don't know how to move on
because I'm waiting for Carl to die.
This was great, I loved watching Father Gabriel
getting punched in the face.
Could have gone for it in season five,
but I'll take it in season eight.
It's like chocolate chip cookies,
some is better than none and there's
really no bad time for it to happen.
I'm glad they doing the thing where
they covered themselves in zombie guts,
because characters on this show really
don't do it enough when they're stuck in a tough situation.
But did Negan really have to ruin his cool leather jacket?
How many of those things could
possibly be left in the world?
He could have just stashed it and come back for it later.
But I guess you don't abandon your
brand in the zombie apocalypse.
I mean Father Gabriel's still dressed like a priest
and just took a confession through a wall.
Father Gabriel makes a face that says,
"I guess I'll do this if I have to,
but please don't get it in my eyes."
It's been years since Negan M. dropped a new album
and he did not disappoint with this one.
He really brought it.
- I wear a leather jacket, I have Lucille
and my nutsack is made of steel.
- [Narrator] Also, this is the 79th time
Negan has talked about penises in this episode.
- [Woman] Thank you, Negan.
Thank God for you.
- [Narrator] Typical comment from a Negan stan.
Okay, so I know the pun about pickles
was intended because they said the
pun about pickles was intended.
But can one of the writers please let me
know if Eugene worried about being
mistakenly caught red handed was also a pun intended?
Because I'm trying to decide whether
or not to kill myself over this.
Just kidding, suicide is never funny.
Also kidding about that, it's a pretty good punchline.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
It's a traitor with a pillow who
wants you to feel bad for him.
I should really work on these knock, knock jokes.
They are not as strong as my suicide material.
Wow, Father Gabriel is not looking so hot.
I thought being from Georgia automatically
makes you invincible but once again I stand corrected.
Tune in next week.
Will Eugene figure a way out of this predicament?
He better, or Negan's going to make him sit
out dodge ball class then put him
out of the misery of being on this show.
We'll Father Gabriel get the medical
treatment he desperately needs?
Yes, but he does not have health insurance
and the bills are going to make him wish he was dead.
What was the deal with that helicopter?
It's full of call-backs they're airlifting in
from season one.
They're going to drop them on our big stupid faces
because that's how you make good TV or whatever.
None of this and more,
next time on The Walking Dead.