With Greece on the edge of financial collapse, President Obama offers an even trade — Florida for Greece.
- July 08, 2015
- 95k Views
President Obama: Londale Theus
Director: Andy Bush
Writer: Amos Vernon
Producer: Dan Bernstein
Coordinator: Ben Parks
Editor: Marty Cramer
DP: Aaron Ulrich
2nd Camera Operator: Brian Lane
Gaffer: Matt Sweeney
Sound: Mike Robertson
Hair/MU: Marina Coria
July 08, 2015
["Hail to the Chief"]
Londale Theus: Hello Europe. As we all know, Greece has defaulted
on it's debt, frozen it's banks, and might be forced to exit the EU.
Europe you're fucked, but the U.S.A might be able to help you out,
My proposal is this, we will take Greece off your hands, and
let it join the United States, if you take Florida our shittiest state.
Here's how it works.
Greece becomes a U.S. state, but one of those weird unattached ones
like Hawaii or Alaska. Boom.
Welcome to America. Have a hot dog.
We absorb their quaint little $380 billion dollar debt, and
proceed to enjoy their yogurt, and beaches, and columns, and what not,
and Florida becomes a European nation that we never have
to look at, read headlines about, or hold primary elections in ever
again. We can iron out the details later, but I'm thinking
we'll either fence Florida in like a bunch of dirty cattle, or
cover them in some sort of dome like structure so we don't have to
look at it. You Europeans can visit your new country via tunnel.
Or if you're feeling ambitious, you can pull an Up, and carry
the whole thing with some helium balloons, and drop it right
in the Mediterranean. Then you can get right to storing all your old
people there until they die. Now there's this one caveat we
keep Disney World. Not Orland, just Disney World.
For the love of God, you take Orlando.
And as a sign of good will we can split the surviving manatees,
so that's about 6 a piece. So what do you say Europe?
We scratch your back, you scratch ours. You'll certainly be doing us a
huge solid by chopping off that bullshit, flaccid, dick of a state
once and for all. Hey, if you're hesitant, we'll even throw in