Biggest Pumpkin in the Patch

♪ Who am I ♪
♪ I am the biggest boy ♪
♪ The biggest pumpkin
in the patch ♪
♪ The saddest pumpkin
in the patch ♪
♪ You pose with
me for a photo ♪
♪ But you'd never
take me home ♪
♪ I would never fit ♪
♪ In your Prius ♪
♪ Who could ever
love a beast ♪
♪ A beast of a gourd ♪
♪ You only want the
small sexy pumpkins ♪
♪ The ones you use for
a centerpiece pumpkins ♪
♪ I'm the misshapen ♪
♪ I'm grotesque ♪
♪ I'm a Barb ♪
♪ But more how they
treat her on a show ♪
♪ The scariest part of Halloween
is the clinical depression ♪
♪ Your child tried
to climb me ♪
♪ But never asked
if that's okay ♪
♪ I want to be touched,
but not like that ♪
♪ Please respect
my pumpkin body ♪
♪ I am a man who
[bleep] pumpkins ♪
♪ I just wanted
to interject ♪
♪ I'm good now, thanks ♪
Hey sexy pumpkin.
What's your name?
♪ Have a happy Halloween ♪
♪ I know I won't ♪
♪ Just wanted to
make something clear ♪
♪ I said I [bleep]
pumpkins ♪
♪ But I would not
[bleep] that pumpkin ♪
♪ Thanks ♪
[pumpkin] That
was a human pervert.