Funny or Die’s own scumbag superhero, Pigeon Man, takes in the sights, sounds and smells of Comic Con 2016.
Published July 25, 2016 190k views More Info »
Full Credits
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Pat O’Brien - Pigeon Man/Writer
Zack Poitras - Writer/Director
Nathan Maggio - Producer
Matt Sweeney - Camera
Matt Mayer - Editor
Natasha Fedorova - Animation
Pat Barrett - Illustration
Brianne Trosie - Producer
Stats & Data
240 Funny Votes
162 Die Votes
186,034 Views
Published: July 25, 2016
Transcript

Hey, what's up
assholes?
This is Pigeon Man.
I'm here at San Diego Comic Con,
and I'm going to be talking
to nerds and geeks here and
taking in the sights, sounds,
and smells of Comic Con.
Let's go see if they've got
some good trash inside. Come on.
♪ ♪
Very beautiful trash in here.
We've got some nacho
cheese chips, jalapeno peppers,
uh... a Snapple bottle.
Have I died and
gone to heaven?
Look at all this
fuckin' free mustard.
Let's see what's
going on in here.
Ah, empty.
we just missed it.
I hate when you show
up to something at Comic Con
and you just miss it.
That's some good trash.
Hey, whoa...
You going to pay
me for that or what?
Okay, what's your
favorite part of the Con?
Looking at all
you weirdos.
Thank you very much.
That's the kindest thing
that anyone has ever said to me.
Your ideal woman,
what does she look like?
foot 3, 6 foot 4,
about 220 pounds,
basically someone who can pick
me up and hurl me across a room.
Absolutely. Look, my ideal
woman is Chyna from WWE.
May she rest in piece.
PIGEON MAN: I wanted
to talk to you about Pokémon.
Why do they say that
you have to catch them all?
'Cause there are so
many of them, and
whoever has the
most is the best.
That's how I feel
about me and STD's.
You think America is ready
for a female Wonder Woman?
Oh absolutely. It should've
been a long time coming.
MALE #1: Did you spot
any good cars out there?
Any good cars?
What do you mean?
Hey, that's a
stereotype my friend.
I shit human shit, alright?
Solid logs everyone.
Hey Stan Lee.
We got'em. We found him.
♪ ♪
What are you
supposed to be?
Did you get that?
Daredevil.
They say he's blind
from touching himself
too much as a teen.
I'm dressed up as a
Star Wars steampunk C-3PO.
You ever listen to punk music
like in a steam bath situation?
No, I haven't done that.
Hey, regular man.
Ooh baby.
Looks like my ex-wife.
Punisher. That's what I
called my ex-wife.
Red Skull. That's what I
called my other ex-wife.
Suicide Squad. That's what I call
when all my ex-wives get together.
My ex-wife ladies
and gentleman.
My ex-wife everyone.
Looks like my ex-wife.
Ooh baby.
Ladies and gentleman,
my ex-wife Linda.
Aaaargh!
Some things
never change.
Well, I came, I saw, I drank,
I smoked, and I passed out.
Overall, I would give
Comic Con a big fat C-minus.
Be sure to check out
my comic book Pigeon Man at
WhatIsPigeonMan.com
Issue 3 is out now,
and uh...
be sure to wash
your assholes everyday.
Peace out!

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