Remember the 'Full House' when D.J. helped an Alzheimer's patient escape a nursing home? It was a very special episode.
- June 28, 2018
- 570k Views
Actor/ Writer/ Editor: Dashiell Driscoll
VFX: Joe Humpay
Post Supervisor: Kia Reghabi
June 28, 2018
- DJ's volunteering at a nursing home
with her adopted grandparent, Eddie.
Danny's proud she's spending time
in a giant refrigerator for expiring humans.
DJ doesn't know what to talk about with a 75-year-old man.
Joey says they have so much in common,
they both have dead moms!
Plus she can ask him about the Great Depression
or The Three Stooges.
Then they give her a quick refresher course
on what great depression looks like.
Meanwhile, Stephanie is training Comet
to jump over Michelle.
Kimmy says her dog Coco is way smarter
than this remedial retriever.
Stephanie says they should get all the dogs
in the neighborhood to come by and see who's the smartest.
Because that's a normal thing kids
definitely do all the time.
Eddie is playing high stakes cards at the nursing home
and just won $24,000?
Better collect from him soon, Eddie.
DJ's ice breaker convo about the great depression
is a bit stiff.
Until she cracks a smile that reminds Eddie
of his daughter Gloria.
He says Gloria's all grown up now in Florida
and he hasn't seen her since...
then he trails off...
What happened in Florida, Eddie?
Eddie says forget that Gloria chick, let's party!
Then invites DJ to get hustled at pool.
Meanwhile the B-story about Stephanie training a dog?
and a C-story about Jessie learning
what it's like to be pregnant?
Double who cares.
DJ won three games and Eddie is down $24,000.
Jesus, Eddie, you've got a serious
imaginary gambling problem.
DJ has to get home to her backyard dog show
and Eddie says that sounds sick.
He loves dogs!
He ate one during the great depression.
DJ wonders if they need permission to leave
and he says nuts to that.
Eddie does what Eddie wants and that's on err-thing.
Eddie tells his friend he's getting the fuck up
out this smelly bitch, deuces.
His pal says he can't!
What if he has one of his spells?
Eddie says pipe down and hold this candy bar.
Then tells a nurse that geezer in the corner
is sneaking a Snickers!
And with the nurse distracted,
DJ unwittingly helps this old man escape.
DJ introduces Eddie to her pregnant Uncle
and her other Uncle who isn't really a forest ranger,
he just dresses like one for puppy parties.
DJ tells Eddie he can help judge the contest!
- Come on Gloria, you got to hurry,
you gonna be late for school.
Seriously, what happened in Florida?
The dog show is going alright.
majorly needs a hobby.
DJ and Eddie are having a blast judging these hounds.
DJ gave that dog four stars!
Eddie gave him a triangle next to a
lower-case J with three squiggles.
And a D-Story about Comet falling in love with Kimmy's dog?
Who cares high score.
Eddie sees Nurse Thomas and dips with haste.
Apparently, Eddie is not allowed to leave
without being signed out by a family member.
DJ says he forgot to tell her,
a likely story.
DJ finds Eddie in her room, calling her Gloria,
telling her to be nice or he's not gonna
let her watch Howdy Doody
Then Eddie says he's just playing.
DJ says the only game he's playing is hide and go seek
with the pissed off nurse in her kitchen.
Eddie tells her to chillax.
But DJ can't chillax because he's been lying all day.
And she's wondering if she'll ever see her $24,000.
Eddie fesses up.
Most of the time he's A-OK,
but every now and then
he's not A-Ok.
And he winds up at a backyard dog parade
with a teenage girl he met just hours ago.
Eddie says today was one of the best days
he's had in a while, and he's sorry for getting
DJ in trouble and if she doesn't wanna
see him again, he'll understand.
Danny explains he has Alzheimer's.
It's a scary disease that makes old people judge dog shows.
DJ wants to know if he's going to get better.
Danny says he's going to get worse.
He'll likely progress to cat shows,
then goldfish shows in his final days.
And just like her mom's roadside decapitation,
the doctors haven't found a cure yet.
DJ says this volunteering business sucks booty.
Danny says cheer up!
Because today was one of the best days Eddie can remember!
But take it with a grain of salt Deej,
because it's also one of the worst days he can remember.
It's one of the only days he can remember.
Eddie is telling the nurse he just saw a dog show,
a forest ranger, and a pregnant man.
She's making a note to increase his medication.
DJ invites Eddie to stay for dinner
and it seems like they're going to be friends!
Only we never see Eddie again,
because he probably fucking killed himself,
or at least made a plan to fucking kill himself
then forgot all about it.
So what did we learn today?
Old people in nursing homes are spending
their last moments on earth gambling with imaginary money,
and could really use some friendly volunteers
to get in on the action.
But if your adopted grandparent wants to follow
you to a backyard dog show,
make sure they're allowed to go,
or you might be unknowingly jail breaking
a senior citizen with Alzheimer's.
And backyard dog shows are remarkably
easy to put together in just a few hours
when all your neighbors are losers.
But if you let any rando judge your dog show for free,
you get what you paid for.
And we'll never find out what happened in Florida,
because Eddie most likely straight up murdered
a lady named Gloria and forgot where he hid the body.
See you next time on a very special episode.