Jonathan loves three things: Maxine Waters, Cover FX and Game of Thrones. With The Mick’s Carla Jimenez.

Full Credits

ACTOR / EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: Jonathan Van Ness
ACTOR: Carla Jimenez
DIRECTOR / EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: Erin Gibson
TALENT COORDINATOR: Jacey Naccarella
CO-EXECUTIVE PRODUCER / WRITER: Matt Mazany
SUPERVISING PRODUCER: Ross Buran
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: Kate Lilly
UPM: Jack Bradley
CREATIVE CONSULTANT / WRITER: Mark Rennie
CREATIVE POST CONSULTANT / WRITER: Joan Ford
WRITER: Hannah Levy
WRITER: Josh Brown
TALENT PRODUCER: Luke Esselen
DP: Matt Sweeney
CAM OP / SWING: Jennifer Cohen
CAM OP / SWING: Matt Krueger
PRODUCTION DESIGNER: Ashley Swanson
LEADMAN: John Flores
MAKEUP: Emily Rae Hilgenberg
SOUND MIXER: Ryan Kaiser
PA: Steven Taylor
POST SUPERVISOR: Alex Parks
LEAD EDITOR: Joe Humpay
EDITOR: Kia Reghabi

Transcript

->Did you see "Game
of Thrones" this week?
Does Jon Snow
make my kitten purr?
Spoiler alert,
YES!
[PURRING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Honey, I'm about to break
out that Restylane, because
the filler episodes are back.
Oh my god, at the
beginning, Jon Snow
is giving me full on
beach boy realness,
catching all the waves en
route to Key Westeros.
->And then, he sees his
old college pal
Munch Munch, who
is still calling
him his nickname from college.
->The bastard of Winterfell.The dwarf of
Casterly Rock.
->Christina tries to
appeal to Jon Snow
by reciting her favorite
Tori Amos lyrics.
->I've been chained and betrayed,Back in King's Landing,Does she like it
gentle or rough?
A finger in the bum?
->So most people
would think it'd be really
awkward to ask someone
how to fuck your sister,
but he breezes
right on through it.
->You know what, I'm
really into that part
right up until the
butthole shaming.
Every booty hole is
deserving of love.
And honey, the irony of
vintage Mia Farrow killing
her Kartrashian ass
with a poison lip kit,
not lost on me for a minute.
->No.And nothing gets
a vintage Mia Farrow hotter
than unhelpfully
processing her grief.
She opens those
big fat murder lips
and smothers the d of brother D.
[SLURPING SOUNDS]
->It's Fuck Watch 2017--You better get
to work, Jon Snow.
->And meanwhile,
Sansa Fierce
gives her best
Anna Wintour devil wears
wolf quality control story.
->Are they covering those
breastplates in leather?
->No, my lady.Oh.And then out of nowhere,
Baby Miss Cleo
is back from college.
And honey, he was tripping
balls on that ayahuasca.
He learned the most.
->I'm the Three-Eyed Raven.I don't know what that means.Only to find
out that the rest of his troops
have full on been Dunkirked
by Jared Let Himself Go.
And then ultimately
at the end, we've
got Highgarten Maggie Smith.
She's doing the most
in her grandma den,
listening to her end of life
care options under Trump Care.
->Whipping you
through the streets
and beheading you in front of
the Red Keep, flaying you alive
and hanging you from the
walls of Kings Landing.
->But before she dies,-uh, my dragons?

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