March Madness is upon us, and while the victors get the glory, the losers must relive their crushing defeat at a mandatory post-game press conference. Watch this humiliating tradition play out as the heartbroken Blue Bears field any and all questions from reporters.
- March 18, 2017
- 680k Views
Directed by Ghost + Cow
Written by Chris Molinaro
Produced by Dan Lubell
DP - Bryant Fisher
2nd camera - Brendyn Smyth
Sound Mixer - Fred Helm
Art Director - John Carlucci
HMU - Lisa Lombardo
PA - Marielle Kehoe
Editing by Chris Molinaro
Casting by David Morris
Coach - Seth Herzog
Dashawn - Jovan Tyler-Graham
Patrick - JC Mendoza
Reporters - Malachi Nimmons, Christopher Karloff, Alan Wilkis, Brandon LaGanke, John Carlucci, Dan Lubell, Lisa Lombardo, Chris Molinaro
Executive Producer - Darren Miller
March 18, 2017
- [Announcer] The GNC University Blue Bears are here.
Head coach Carl Newton will take questions
along with players D'Shon Davies and Patrick Murray.
- [Mike] Mike Mazur, College Sports News.
Coach Newton, what happened tonight?
- We lost.
We had a bunch of costly turnovers, and
my hat goes off to Cayuga State,
they really were the better team tonight.
- [John] John Leganky, Hoop Scoops.
This is for D'Shon.
Did CSU get into your head tonight?
- I made some mental errors down the stretch and
just couldn't put the points on the board.
- [John] Follow-up question:
Can you please rank every season of Grey's Anatomy?
- One, six,
eight, three, seven, nine, 11,
- [John] That checks out.
- [Reporter] This question's for Coach Newton.
How would I prepare the French dish duck l'orange?
- Look, I don't know about them,
but I like to confit the legs
and sous-vide the breast.
That's just me.
- That's what I do.
- [Reporter] This is for everybody.
How many episodes of Westworld did you get through?
- Skipped it.
- John Leganky, Hoop Scoops.
I like watching Shark Tank.
- [John] In one or two words, this is for all of you,
what's your greatest fear?
- [Reporter] I just found out that I'm pregnant.
Should I have the baby?
- Do you know who the baby daddy is?
- [R.J.] R.J. Price, Scoreboard.org.
I just found out that I got someone pregnant.
- You should have that looked at
and taken care of.
- [Kevin] Kevin Able, BBC News.
So the other day I went out to the store,
bought a mousetrap, and as my fuckin' wife,
you know, shouts at us, would you fuck off,
go home, shout at your dad if you fuckin' got one.
I was wonderin', where's the closest Applebee's?
- You just take I-40, three exits,
and then a left and you should find it.
- [John] John Leganky here again.
I can't find my phone, can you call it?
- Did you check your pocket?
- [John] No.
Oh, I got it, it's right here.
- All good.
- Was it in your pocket?
- [John] Yes, it was.
- [Kevin] Yes, hello, me again.
Do small hands really make small willies look bigger?
- [Doug] Doug Johnson, first-time home buyer.
What's more important for home resale value:
schools or taxes?
- Look, I know in my experience, it's better--
- I'm sorry, I was actually asking Sir Growlsley.
- [John] Okay, one last question.
John Leganky again, from Hoop Scoops.
If I were having a heart attack,
how might you assist me?
- Are you having one now?
- [John] I am, yes.
- Sir Growlsley is a third-year med student
and could give you mouth-to-mouth
or resuscitate you in any way you need.
Au revoir, fuckers!