The Yelling Man returns to take on this country's love of guns in the wake of yet another mass shooting.

Full Credits

Editor: Tom Levin
Art Design: Natasha Federova

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304Funny
258Die
48,977
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December 10, 2015
Published

Transcript

Hey, welcome to Yelling Man
with Matt Kleinman.
I'm Matt Kleinman, and
I'm the yelling man
and Jesus Christ, you know
today I'm yelling about guns.
[rock music]
We can't go two days in
this capitalist fuck pit
without some animal plucking
a gun off a tree, or whatever,
and shooting a bunch of
innocent people. If you are
that fucking pissed off
about something, why
don't you do what a normal
person does, and make
an internet video of
yourself yelling at no one.
That's what I do.
You know what I
hate is iPads.
Awesome work Kleinman.
Thanks. Awesome work Kleinman.
Whoa!
I get it gun freaks, guns
are sick. They shoot metal
so fast, but you gotta be
able to handle your shit.
That's why I own this
handleless machete,
because I can handle,
handling a handless machete.
If you want guns, then you
need to step up, and figure
out how to prevent wieners
who can't handle their shit
from using them to kill people, but you don't
know how to do that do you.
Because you keep
doing shit, like upholding
a ban on learning why
people commit mass
shootings. You just did this.
The NRA is doing this.
Learn about it at this URL.
It's insane. Because
you don't know shit about shit
you come up with these
horrible ideas like giving
every school child a gun,
or whatever. This is
fucking nuts. Right?
Am I nuts? Am I the crazy
one here? Maybe we should
just try it your way.
Just give every motherfucker
a gun, huh. Let's pass them
out for free at baseball
games. Lets make it so that you
guys can go down to your
local submarine sandwich shop
and buy an assault
rifle along with your
footlong roast meat stick.
Go to the vending machines
on the side of the road
right next to the ones
that sell candy
bars, and Japanese woman's
underpants or put up
billboards that remind
people to shoot your gun
everyday for your health.
This is great. What a utopia.
Pretty soon the fucking
very air we breathe will be
% bullets. Then those
of us that survive will
have thicker skulls, and
thicker skin, and then
or a million years from
now we'll all evolve to
impervious to bullets.
You wanna live, don't you
armadillo boy?
No bullet is going to
hurt you. You're going
to be just fine.
You're going to be just
fine armadillo boy.
I don't want to grow armor.
My skin is heavy enough
as it is.
Don't kill me in a mass
shooting.
[rock music]
[Funny or Die News theme song]

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