Lauren Lapkus Paints Herself As A Bodybuilder with The Shirtless Painter
This episode The Shirtless Painter is joined by legendary musician, writer, actor, radio host and all around nice guy Henry Rollins. Together they paint each other, experimenting with the canvas that is man, proving once again that anyone can paint and anyone can paint anything!
- September 13, 2017
- 1m Views
September 13, 2017
(upbeat energetic music)
Welcome to another episode of The Shirtless Painter,
where anyone can paint and anyone can paint anything.
- What's better than one shirtless painter?
Well, I think you're looking at it.
Two shirtless painters, and today is a very special episode
because today I'm joined by the man himself,
musician, author, actor, writer,
and fellow artist,
Mr. Henry Rollins.
Henry, thank you so much for joining me today.
It's not often you get two chiseled Adonises like this
in one room so I can think of no better thing for us to do
than for us to paint each other, if you're cool with that.
Let's get started.
I encourage you all to take off your shirts
and paint along with us.
We're going to be flashing some of the colors on screen.
Let's jump right in.
- I've already jumped in.
- All right, I'm just gonna go ahead and
get sort of a Henry base going here.
- So, you're really, you're checking me out?
- I'm sizing you up.
- I'm starting to see a whole different side of you.
- But interpret me however you see fit.
- All right.
- You don't have to make me beautiful though, hey,
I wouldn't complain if you did.
Now, Henry, you work in many different mediums.
I think that's just--
- I'm just desperate for work.
I'm just trying to stay fed.
- So, music is sort of where it all started.
- And of course, you're a prolific writer and author.
You've written many books and you write an article--
- I own the book company,
so I sleep with the owner every night,
so there's not a rejection slip waiting for me.
- That's called a hack, that's what we call that.
A life hack.
- Oh, okay,
I see that on the Huffington Post,
- Yeah, yeah.
- a life hack.
- It came from just the DIY idea.
Like you wanna make a record?
Okay, go make it.
Why are you waiting around for someone's permission?
So, I started doing that with books.
- You're now dabbling in photography.
- Yeah, I travel pretty far and wide.
I've been to about 100 countries and all seven continents.
Many years ago, I just started dragging cameras with me
I started feeling the limitations of kind of
the smaller point-and-shoots and a friend of mine,
this woman I know, she was looking at some of my photos
and she said,
"You have kind of an eye for this.
"Let's get you a real camera,
"You know, where you can switch out lenses
and let me teach you F-stop,
and I'll teach you how to shoot manual."
So, she gave me a couple of lessons and
I bought a couple of photo books,
which are actually really instructive,
and I just went out into the world and
I just started taking a ton of photos and that proved to,
you know, you come back from a day of shooting photos
in the street all day and you're like, okay,
don't use that F-stop anymore.
- Or, you know, you just learn to,
you learn to make it better.
- Oh, boy.
Well, Henry, I need to just jump in here.
I just added your eye.
You are accidentally crying in this image,
but this is a natural drip at work.
I didn't mean to make you cry.
- I cry when I'm jet-lagged.
If I don't sleep for like a day, I'll get emo and
I'll watch some dumb movie in Economy on my way somewhere.
I was raised in Washington DC.
You know, every third building is a,
is a museum or a gallery
and my mom, she's quite the art maven,
and so I got dragged to,
you know, to the national whatever museum
and this gallery and that gallery all the time.
So, I always admired painting but I never had
any interest in doing it.
- Who are some of your favorite visual artists out there?
- Well, as far as painting, I've always been a fan of Bacon.
Just because, the way he makes people look,
the way he cuts them up and distorts them,
that's kind of the way I see people.
- Right, very grotesque.
- Yeah, but real!
One time, a few years ago, I was at the Warhol Museum
and I had seen a million Warhols in books and on TV,
in documentaries, but when you go to the museum,
whatever, the gallery, whatever, and you see them full-size,
like you're in a room with them,
it's almost kind of hard to keep standing up.
They almost knock you over with their intensity.
- This is a controversial opinion from Henry and I.
Andy Warhol was actually good.
- I won't name names and call anyone out,
but I knew somebody and was at her apartment in New York
years ago and she's got a Warhol.
Geronimo or one of those and I was like,
"That's so cool!
"Where did you get that?"
And a person we both know who is kind of
a music independent guy,
he's been in a couple of very well-known independent bands,
"He works at the Warhol Factory.
"He's the one who screens these and
"he actually even signs the name.
"Warhol can't even be bothered.
"So, he just took this home and gave it to me."
So, I go, "That's a Warhol?"
She goes, "Kind of."
- Right, it's actually a Dave or a Mike or
whatever the guy's name was.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Or girl.
- And you've probably heard this guy play on a record before
but this was the money he was making between the tours
like in bands where independents didn't make any money.
- May I ask who we're talking about?
- I, maybe, I, y'know--
- That little story gave me a little bit of contempt
for Warhol, like, okay, what a scam.
Then, I was in Germany one night years later, on a night off
and there was this documentary on Warhol.
It's in German with subtitles and the German--
y'know typical German guy, right in his face, you know.
That's fake, you're knocking these off,
you're painting a soup can, who cares?
And he looked at the guy and he said,
"Hey, I gotta bring home the bacon."
I mean, he was having kind of a laugh at the art world
and the pretension of it but in his own way,
he was not messing around and he was really
pushing himself forward.
A guy I know, kind of a famous artist, Robert Longo.
Works in charcoal.
And Glen Bronco, these No-Wave people.
His paintings, his friends.
He's from that whole No-Wave scene.
He was in a band called The Theoretical Girls.
Anyway, he does these massive,
like huge charcoal drawings.
They're all over the world.
He wrote me the other day.
He just came back from some multi-country, you know,
from Moscow to Berlin.
And for good reason.
And he directed me in a film, Johnny Mnemonic,
me and Keanu Reeves
- Remember it?
- and Dolph Lundgren.
- The bestest guy.
I think he was insecure in that film because he didn't
have a plastic sword or a pelt.
- Oh Dolph?
He wasn't very friendly--
No, he's not a very nice man.
He didn't like me.
I turned on the charm.
- Come on, Dolph!
What's not to like about?
- Every day, I'd be like, "Morning, Dolph!"
He'd be like
I'm like, "Okay!"
I don't put any people on notice on this show,
but Dolph, you're on notice.
- Yeah, he's like 6'11".
- Come on, Dolph.
- He gave me a great black eye, but anyway, Longo,
I met Longo because he was the director and
we've been buddies ever since.
But, when you see the amount of work that guy turns around
and like how no B.S. his studio is.
It's just this room with just stuff.
If you see photos of his studio,
and I've interviewed him before
and you get the idea of his work ethic,
it's so zero-glamour.
- Me, I live here in the studio.
I sleep in the corner there.
I wake up--
- And this is it?
A windowless room?
- This is it, yeah.
I love the outdoors but I'll paint them.
You know, if I want to see the outdoors, I'll paint it.
- That's what Kafka said.
You don't need any stimulation.
You have it all.
You just sit in a room and let it come to you.
He said if you sit still long enough,
it can't help but reveal itself to you.
He said it will undulate in front of you.
It can do nothing but present itself to you.
So, that's how you are.
- That's pretty much me to a T.
- You're the Shirtless Painter who doesn't need
any damn windows.
- Do you have any friends?
- No, no.
- You just have the paint.
- No, just the paint.
These guys are mine.
David, Michael, Janis, Louise,
Christopher, and Stephanie S.
These are my best friends right here.
And of course, Henry.
Who's been the best guest so far,
- Ah, Let's see.
Who have we had?
Amy Mann was a great painter.
- She and I have been buddies for many years.
- She's great.
- You just painted yourself there, buddy.
- I felt that!
- No, leave it, Bluebeard.
- The canvas doesn't--
- Actually, hold on a second.
I want to capture that.
I've got it. I'm good
- Okay, great, great.
Alright, so Henry I will tell you, I gave you,
you wound up with sort of an arm wound.
Your arm got severed at some point
in the process here.
- It hasn't gone all that well for me over there.
- You're crying.
Your arm fell off.
This one is sort of left to the viewer's imagination.
- Wait until you get in your 50s.
You'll see. You'll start crying.
- The arms start going.
- They'll fall off!
Yeah, the arms come off at the worst times.
- Yeah, I've got a few gray hairs but knock on wood,
none of my arms have fallen off yet.
- You pull up, you're talking to your dealer's kid, right?
- Sure, yeah.
- You show him the tattoos and the war wounds--
- Next thing you know--
- All of a sudden, donk!
- Thump, it's on the floor.
- Then the kid takes it.
- Get the broom.
Get the broom, we lost an arm.
- I painted you, man.
I'm a minimalist.
I didn't get you from a few years ago
when you had the gut and the mohawk
- Oh right, yeah,
- and all the bad tats.
- that took a lot of laser surgery,
to get rid of those bad tats.
Now, I've only got good tats, as you can see.
- Yeah, yeah, I like that one you're sporting.
- Am I crazy?
When we said we were gonna paint each other,
part of me wanted to paint each other.
You know what I mean?
- Well, I want to paint you.
I mean, really paint you.
- All right, you know what.
- I have a couple of rules.
- No swastikas.
I must say, I'm a novice artist
but I prefer the texture of your skin
to paint on than that canvas.
That canvas was alienating and cold.
- Thank you.
- And this is more of kind of an analog experience.
- I agree, I agree.
That was sort of an mp3.
This is a nice vinyl record that we're painting on.
- There you go.
I couldn't have said it better.
- I'm just sort of
encasing this spider
in sort of a red area here.
- Yeah, some artist got to me before you did.
- Yeah, what is all this?
- It's Reagan era.
I'm not blaming Reagan for the art.
I'm just saying I'm old and so are these.
- If you could, if you had the opportunity to somehow
forcibly tattoo Ronald Reagan, when he was alive,
what would you give him?
- Wow, that's a really good question.
Black Flag bars.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It would have to be.
That would be perfect.
- I think so, too.
- We'll give you sort of a nice little flower.
- Oh, nice.
I'm really coming alive!
- Yeah, yeah.
Here we go.
A little pop of color there.
- I'm apoplogizing in advance for my kind of
stultifying minimalism here.
I don't think dynamically unless there's violence involved.
- Just as long as no one shoots me in the stomach
when this is all over with.
- No, I'm not trying to line you up for a kill!
I'm just kind of working off your naval.
- Oh sure, it's natures focal point, the naval.
Some flowers down here.
- We'll have this just sort of emerging from your naval.
- Right, as all good things do.
- Sure, yeah, yeah.
- Do you ever give the guests peyote,
or do they have to bring their own?
- We should look into that.
Gus, do we have any peyote laying around, or is it BYOP?
- When you guys are in your fifth season,
like when you get some big budget,
I say drugs.
- And make it like a 24 hour session,
like we don't leave here, you don't go back to your bunk
and we just sit here--
- I will stand here until one of us drops.
- Like for a benefit.
We could do like a paint-a-thon.
We just paint each other until the other falls over.
- I'll do it in a second.
Yeah, really, Henry, anytime you want to jump by--
- Just come by and do some painting here?
All right, let me get a little water here.
- Oh, look at you!
I didn't see the bars!
- Oh, yeah.
- That's fantastic!
- Just a little, you know, tattoo that I've had forever.
Let's get some blue in the mix here.
We'll do sort of a ...
- Oh, you're crying, too.
Crying pink tears.
Actually, I see a thing that could happen here.
This is, yeah.
I'm gonna go a little North Korea on you.
- Thank you.
- Always say please and thank you
when you're painting a friend.
Now, Henry, you're a big music fan, obviously.
- I'm just personally curious as we're
painting each other here.
Who is, what are you listening to right now?
What's a new record that you're into?
- I listened, last night, I listened to the remastered
version of Joe's Garage by Frank Zappa.
- Ahmet Zappa had worked really hard at remastering it,
because Ahmet, the son,
is kind of taking care of Dad's catalog
and so um,
he was telling me what a great job they had done on it
and I listened to it yesterday and I must concur.
I listened to the new Ty Segall EP that he did
and all the money's going to the ACLU.
- And like every other Ty record, it's fantastic.
The new Oh Sees record, Orc.
I played that twice over the weekend.
Very, very good.
- Who's your top guy or girl, like who's your absolute--
- As far as like, a record or a band?
- Yeah, just musician, band.
- Oh, Stooges.
- Stooges, okay.
- They're as important to music like,
like water to life.
I dropped my brush.
- Allow me.
- Thank you.
That's an artist looking out for the other artist.
- Always look out for the other artist.
If we don't have each other's back--
- We got nothing.
- We got nothing.
All right, this is it.
This is us.
- My idea of fire is turning to ca-ca.
Now, who says you can't have some laughs with painting.
- Have some laughs!
Don't take yourself so seriously.
- Don't take it so seriously, man.
You gotta lighten up.
Life is short.
I'm making a really, ah,
an activist statement with you.
I'm going to have to ask a favor of you.
Not to wash for days.
- I won't, I won't.
- Hold onto it.
- That's a promise.
That's a guarantee.
Anyone who works with me here in the studio
will start to smell me keeping that promise.
They're used to it.
I've talked to some of the people you work with.
They're cool but they put up with a lot of your crap.
- Oh, yeah, they're saints, every one of them.
- Yeah, you should pay 'em better.
- I really should.
I really, really should,
but just can't swing it right now.
- A six-pack and a bag of bad Arena weed is gonna cut it?
- These guys, they like that stuff.
- Yeah, but you know, they're adults.
They're gonna start looking around.
They've got options.
They've got options.
People are on the phone.
- I keep hearing that.
- Have you ever thought of franchising this?
- Employing different shirtless painters to host?
- Yeah, I think I'd be down for that.
Sort of train them and send them to different cities.
- Exactly, yeah.
- Yeah, I think that's something we'll definitely look into.
- I think you should think about that.
I'm painting the scorched earth of, ah,
I guess it would be California.
I'm not advocating the destruction of California.
I'm just saying this is probably the point where
The IC.. the intercontinental ballistic missiles will
be able to make contact.
- It will probably be the West Coast.
- LA will go back to the scorpions and the coyotes.
- I just want to be one of the first to say,
scorpions and coyotes, I love you guys.
I'm your friend.
- I was ah...
woman I know was working over at my place for a few
days and she went back to the East Coast and she said,
"I've got all this food, do you want it?"
And I said,
"Yeah, I'll take the food."
You know, free food, it just tastes better.
So, she left me with this big bag of spinach and so
I opened up the spinach and a scorpion was in it.
So, I kept the scorpion in my sink and
then I put him in a jar--
I wasn't able to get gender-specific.
- Right, they're tough to spot.
- Yeah, yeah.
Because they won't sit still.
- You're like, come on, come on!
- Just let me sneak a peek!
- Just like, lift up the tail.
Ow, ow, ow!
And so I eventually took the cup outside
and turned it loose
It looked back at me, waved.
One little scorpion tear.
- Kids hate eating spinach.
Try being a scorpion locked in a bag of spinach.
- You think your life's bad.
- Try being a lonely child in Washington DC,
having to eat scorpions.
- Try that on for size.
- "Mom, what's in my spaghetti?"
"Shut up and eat it."
That's what she'd say.
- Yeah, next time one of you guys asks to have
the crusts cut off your peanut butter and jelly,
think about crunching on a scorpion,
and you don't even know the gender.
- And you know what?
It could come to that.
- So, I'm adding sort of a wifi signal through here.
- That's good!
- To your tattoo right here.
What is this one?
What does this symbolize?
- That's the Einstürzende Neubauten logo.
It was a do-over.
That's a cover-up.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, it's hard to see but--
- Wait, if you turn this way I started to see it.
- Turn towards the light?
- See, it's the four faces of the guys
in Motley Crue are underneath it.
- Oh, okay, I can see them.
There's Tommy Lee.
There's what, Nikki Sixx?
- Yeah, right here.
- See, you can see all the guys there.
What made you change your mind?
- Just people started talking.
- People get jealous.
A lot of people jealous of me, man.
- There's such a thing as looking too cool,
which I think you may have run into there.
- They get so mad.
I didn't know you could do this.
I was cleaning the brush but it looks so good.
- Oh, yeah.
That looks kinda fun.
- Yeah, sort of a tit for tat, I guess.
- Sort of a pox, here.
I'm working with red so this will be sort of--
- A pox on me.
- A pox on you.
- Thank you.
- You don't have to decide now but when you leave
and go home, do you think you might go to the tattoo shop
and get any of these made permanent?
- Again, don't feel the need to--
- I'll go for that if you go for the bars.
- You don't have to ask me.
- That color scheme?
I'm loving that color scheme.
- If I have Henry Rollins,
the only way I would feel comfortable getting
Black Flag multicolored bars on my neck is with
Henry Rollins' personal blessing,
which I believe we have cards and film in all these cameras.
- I say go for it.
- Okay, Mom.
See you at Christmas.
Here's a big question for you, Henry.
- Is rock and roll okay?
Is it here to stay?
- Oh, it's fine.
It's really good right now.
Music's always fine because there's always young people
who are agitated and plugging in,
so it's always going to be fine.
You never need to worry about that.
There's always going to be the mediocre.
There's always going to be people who want to be
on the radio and they go at music
like it's a corporate concern.
When someone says, "Music's boring now."
I'm like, "No, you're boring now."
Or, old bastards like me,
I'm noticing some of my peers are saying
these young people don't know what they're doing.
- That's a sure sign of--
- Don't do that.
You're turning into your dad.
- George Carlin is one of my favorite comedians and
he was somebody who, I think,
he was at his very best when he died.
He just kept getting better.
- He went from strength to strength to strength.
I remember I was in seventh or eighth grade,
it's like 1828, and my mom, for some reason,
either bought me or let me have Class Clown.
Classic record of his.
And Occupation: Foole.
With an E.
He said, "I put an E at the end just to piss people off."
And I memorized the records.
Like all of it, all of the comments and the pauses
and I would say the things to kids at summer camp
to avoid getting punched out and so
he was always a big deal for me.
I'm older than you, by about like eight months,
and so, years ago,
I was at MTV in New York in the 90s and I just did
an interview with Matt Pinfield and I'm leaving the building
and one of the people backstage says,
"George Carlin's in the Green Room and
"he wants to talk to you."
I was in such a state of disbelief.
I said, "George Carlin, the comedian?"
Like there's two.
I just didn't think that was gonna be.
So, I went back there and there's George Carlin,
standing in this Green Room
and I walked in and I was like,
and he says, "Call me George!"
And I went, okay, and I shook his hand and he said,
"You did an in-store at Tower Records the other night."
I said yeah.
"I stood in line with one of your books to get it signed
"but the line was too long and I got cold and went home."
and I said,
"You stood in line? You're George Carlin!"
"Just walk in!"
and he said,
"I can't do that kind of thing, man."
and then I said,
"Now, I got to ask you a question.
"There's a great biography about Lenny Bruce."
It's a must-read.
And I said,
"There's a great story in there about
"Lenny Bruce gets busted.
"The cops were waiting for him to say something.
"They nailed him on a word and you were in the club
"as an underage person
and they handcuffed you guys together
and put you in the back of the same police car
and that's how you met Lenny Bruce."
"Is that true?"
And he said,
"Yes and no."
"I was handcuffed with Lenny Bruce."
- Which is a story in itself.
I mean, that's just so amazing,
especially to hear it from Carlin, but he said,
"That's not the first time I met him."
"I'd met him before because he would gather
all the young comics around and go okay,
give me your best stuff, and he would grade us
and help us and we would all just do our routine
and he would go, no no no, cut that part out,
that's not good, say that up here, go faster."
He said he was super-generous with his time and
he was just a very, always willing to help
a young comic on his way up.
- Man, that's awesome and it clearly rubbed off
on George Carlin who turned out to be not only a cool guy,
but arguably one of the coolest guys.
- Yeah, and I walked out of that building,
I was just like, because you know, in our line of work,
you meet interesting people or well-known people
now and then but that one,
that's where I just kind of stared at my and on the subway,
like I just shook George Carlin's hand.
- Yeah, it doesn't get much better.
- I just had a second with George Carlin and
that was a big damn deal for me.
- I was supposed to see him in high school
in Buffalo, New York and
his gig got canceled
because there was a massive snow storm.
- Upstate New York, I started going there
a lot in rock and roll.
- I saw you there.
A couple times.
- Oh, thanks.
- For days, like Buffalo or Albany,
we'd play the show and the owner, he wasn't very nice to us.
The audience wasn't very nice to us and
I got pulled offstage and they'd be like kicking me
and stepping on me and you know, that wasn't any good--
- What year was this?
- I'm gonna go back and okay.
I'm gonna talk to some people.
- So, yeah, yeah.
- That's not cool.
- Straighten these people out, man.
You go back the conquering artist.
You go back and everyone's applauding
at the Greyhound station.
- Hold on, I got something to say.
, Henry Rollins.
You treated him poorly.
So, I'm loading the gear out of the truck,
out to our miserable van after the show
because I'm the road crew,
and so I'm loading the gear and there's this guy
who was beating me up inside and he's standing next to
the van and I walked by and he's like,
"Ah, you suck!"
I gotta load the gear or we're never getting out of here.
So, I kept walking by him and he kept calling me a name
but he wasn't trying to hit me and I'm like,
"Thank you, sir."
I don't care.
I gotta load the van.
So, at one point, I'm walking by him with like the kick drum
or something and a guy walks, like the van is where you are
and I'm walking toward you.
A guy walks this way, walks up to this guy,
and kind of punches him in the stomach and keeps walking.
- Sorry, buddy.
- I'm okay.
- That was like, this is some black-belt stuff.
Anyway, he just kind of pops him and walks by
and I'm like okay, and the guy was drunk and
he didn't notice and so I grabbed some more gear
and come out and
actually, to tell a story ...
Wait a minute.
- Okay, map it out.
- So, right here,
I walk by him and he's got a white t-shirt
on and I see this ever-expanding
dot of blood.
and I realize that guy had walked by and--
- Stabbed him!
- But I still had gear to load
so I didn't say anything
because I still had to get the rest of, you know, the gear.
So, all these punk rockers, all eight of them,
were in the parking lot watching this guy bleed and
it's just getting bigger and bigger!
I'm not kidding you, man.
This is true.
The last time I walked by him,
it was, it was, it kept going.
Because he was not bleeding to death or anything.
I don't want the guy to die, but he got stuck.
- And so, the last thing he said to me,
he looked at me and he gave me this weird non-sequitur.
He said, "It's cool."
I went, "Okay!"
And the next day, we were in Canada.
We drove up for a show in Ottawa.
It was my first time in Canada.
I was 21.
So, we found out later, we were back there six months later
and we found out that that guy was so drunk, right,
and had a good fat layer, but he didn't feel it.
Hopefully, just a little blade.
So, he didn't feel it so he stopped at
a gas-station-liquor-store-convenience-mart to get some beer
and the guy behind the counter said, "You're bleeding!"
And that's how he found out he was stabbed,
but he got in his car and drove away.
- Man, he must have just had such a padding of Labatt Blues
and chicken wings.
- Wings and rock and roll.
- Rock and roll, baby.
- Rock and roll.
- The ultimate shield.
- That happened.
And that's my memory of it right there.
I've never expressed it artistically before.
- This is it.
This is Buffalo hospitality.
- I've done it as free dance.
- Sure, right, free dance.
You do it, but, yeah.
- And I was naked.
- Well, you've got to.
- In front of a preschool.
- It was a first time offense, so I didn't do time.
I just did the home--
- Sure, they give you the ankle bracelet for a couple weeks.
- Which I chewed off, as you do.
- They're easily chewed.
They're easily chewed through.
Well, I really like what you've got going on here.
- I'm kind of done with you.
I said what I came here to say.
- Should we maybe just cap it off by signing our work?
- Oh, yeah, hell yeah.
- I'll give you a nice S.P.
- You just go by S.P.?
- I'll just do initials. S.P.
Yeah, there we go.
- I hope it's not too cold.
I asked your crew to pre-warm the paints.
- Thank you guys so much.
It goes along with it.
- I didn't want you to start goosebumping.
- Guys, I really appreciate it.
I don't want to seem like a diva,
but I need my paints warmed, please.
- Yep, and you don't do stairs.
Carry me, please!
Should we go over what we did to each other,
because I have an explanation.
- Please yeah, tell me about it, yeah.
- Okay, well, um
besides the stab wound and my initials,
this is America right now.
And this is a nuclear blast
that could come
sooner than later with the way our foreign policy is going,
these eighth grade sandbox threats.
That's a little bit of acid rain and fallout.
- Yeah and I just like the idea
of a pink apocalypse,
so that's why there's a little bit of a pink edge.
- Yeah, you never hear about a pink apocalypse.
- It's kind of nice.
- It's kind of a fire, but it's pink fire and
you have the implied orange, the smoking gun.
And it goes right to your chest as the mushroom cloud.
- Well, you know, it's beautiful apocalypse.
All right, so I'll just kind of take you through
what I've done here.
I just sort of gave this spider sort of
a candy cane house to live in.
- I like that.
Very charitable of you.
- Yeah and then of course we've got a big sunflower
coming out of the naval area.
I added some windows,
just because we are in a windowless room here.
Sort of some rib lines.
- You're an artist.
You just paint the windows.
- Yeah, you paint the windows and
then you look through those windows.
Boom! You're done.
You save on heating and cooling, too.
Over here we've got a little alien with red eyes,
kind of looking down, maybe watching the apocalypse
and either laughing or crying.
- Oh, of course, we've got the wifi symbol up here.
So, you are connected if anyone needs to--
- I'm a 3G network.
- Yeah, you could hook up your phones to that.
- I need an upgrade.
- Yeah, yeah.
We'll get you on LTE.
All right, so we've got a dinosaur, of course,
biting your neck here.
It's a purple dinosaur but not Barney the Dinosaur.
This is a more ferocious one.
This is just sort of a shit-colored arrow
pointing to your other nipple,
because I just wanted to try the brown.
And yeah, I think that kind of about covers it.
Then, of course, we got our signature right there.
Well, Henry, I just want to thank you again, so much
for coming in and painting with me.
I hope you guys at home took off your shirts
and painted along with us.
Hey, bring it in.
- Oh, you're warm!
- Warm, yeah.
It's ice-cold in here, too.
- That's the most action I've had in months.
- Hey, now.
- All right.
- All right, ladies and gentlemen, the one and only,
the man himself, Henry Rollins.
We'll see you next time.
(bright jazzy piano music)