Starring- Eliza Coupe & Lauryn Kahn Featuring- D'Arcy Carden Writer- Lauryn Kahn Director- Alex Richanbach Producer- Brianne Trosie Editor- Michael Burke Director of Photography- Jonathan Nicholas Camera Operator- Ryan Firth Gaffer- Theodore Rysz III Key Grip- Dominic D'Astice Swing- Charles Tae Sound- Ben Forman Production Design- Ellie del Campo Hair & Makeup- Emily Rae PA- Ross Buran PA- Josh Kay
> Yeah, mini-cakes? Oh, cupcakes, is that what you guys call it.
> Everybody calls them cupcakes.
> Like in the bakery biz?
> No, just like everybody in the world calls them cupcakes.
> Eliza Coupe: Surprise (inaudible)
> Oh, how are you doing?
> What are you doing here?
What the fuck are you doing here?
Oh wow, God this is amazing.
> Look at this, it's like a rom-com or maybe it's a horror movie.
> Single white female.
> What does f-y-f mean?
> Really, you don't know what that means?
> It's like in a question.
> It means fuck your face. It's like a fun thing, like fuck your face.
> Ok, I'm going to just...I'm going to just pop back there.
> So look at that hair...
> I know.
> So was that was an purpose thing.
It is intentional. Color is very in right now.
> Is it?
> Katy Perry, Nikki Rich, everybody.
> I bet people are like you, you are a dead ringer for one of those trolls I used
to have as a little girl.
> You hilarious.
> I bet you we could probably string you up.
> That was a good one but no.
> What are you doing here? I mean
I know you love to eat.
> I am so glad you asked Eliza, I'm looking
for wedding deserts, because I'm engaged.
> Oh, Jean Claude Van Damme girl, because so am I.
> Ok, you're hurting me, you're hurting me.
What did you like permanently roofie a guy or something? I'm kidding.
> You can't actually do that. It doesn't work.
> I'm sure you've tried. Oh wow, is that like one of those pretty
polished stones at the bottom of the fish tank? I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
> It's a black diamond.
I just feel like regular diamonds are just so early 2000's. Do you know what I mean?
But yours, oh my God let me see that. Is this part of the Jane Seymour collection
at Kay Jewelers or--
> Not at all.
No, my God, it's been digged. Black diamonds are very trendy.
I just prefer more of like classic and timeless beauty. Have you heard of that?
> You heard that.
> You heard that, I'm kidding.
> So funny.
> So where are you getting married?
> We're doing it this summer, and we're doing it on a luxury yacht, and just like
we need that privacy, but we just need like water.
> Why do you need that privacy?
> Because of all of our celebrity friends. You have no idea.
> Did you want to try more? I think um...I think we kind of hit our limit
with our samples. You've had about $200 dollars worth--
> I love that.
> You're cute, you little cute liar. She's totally kidding, of course I
have not. I'm going to do an order of the small personalized--
> --with the eatable diamonds we talked about.
> Ok, great.
> Eatable diamonds that we
talked about so...and you're going to go back there...
> She didn't seem to know what you were talking about there.
> She knew. So it's so funny that you were talking about all your celebrity friends.
I have a lot too, but I just call them friends, because they're people,
but the most exciting news of all is we're in talks with Beyoncé to
perform at our wedding live. I'm talking Crazy in Love, drunk in love...it's exciting.
> You're such a lying cunt, because I was like she's going to choose a Bey song
it's going to be "If I were a boy", because you've always reminded me of a
man. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
> Again, there she goes again.
> I'm kidding. We're getting a DJ. A little bit hipper.
> Like a bah mitzvah.
> Do you know who Calvin Harris is?
> I'm unfamiliar.
> He's a renowned DJ.
> Does not ring a bell. I apologize.
> He's really renowned. Have you picked out your dress yet?
Did you fall in love with David's Bridal? I bet you did.
> No I did not. I have it the gown. It's right up the runway of Jenny Packham
this season. She's an amazing designer. I'm sure you've never really heard about her.
> I know exactly who she is.
> She runs pretty hard at fashion week so.
> I'm actually getting a custom design. Like I just don't want anything that
anybody else has worn like it's gross. I'm having like a lot of people make
my dresses. It's going to be like a hundred people are going to make my dress.
> Wowsies. So like a bunch of 6 year-olds in like a Chinese sweatshop? I'm kidding.
> No, there might be some children there, but they want to be there.
Have you heard of Children's Project Runway?
> No I have not.
I know you've had a truckload today, but you know what I bet you would like a--
I bet this would be really good on you.
> Nope, I don't want it.
> That'd be great for you.
> Oh my God, this one is the best. It's called shut your stupid, cunttie, tramp
mouth berry...I'm kidding.
You look so fucked up.
It's like a facial - you're used to those right?
> Hey-hey, are you kidding me? What the fuck just happened in here?
Not everything in this place is a sample, you understand that?
> I was helping her samp it up.
> She was helping me samp it up.
> Did you say samp it up?
> No, I'm helping her samp it up.
> She was helping me samp it up.
> We don't have time.
> But you do have time, because you've been here for 3 fucking hours.
> That's offensive, because I was like planning on making an order.
> Are either of you actually getting married?
> Ok, ok, talk to my fiance. Talk to my fiance about that.
To be honest, I'm not sure.
> She is, but she might not be.
> Call my fiance. Beep him, text him, tweet him, I don't care.