The '7th Heaven' With The Kids Who Huffed Paint Fumes
Remember the 'Family Matters' when Steve Urkel got drunk and fell off a roof? It was a very special episode.
- January 18, 2018
- 1.9m Views
January 18, 2018
- Laura's helping Maxine plan her rooftop birthday party.
They decide to graciously invite that one guy
with only four teeth.
Aunt Rachel offers to cater,
even though Maxine can only afford
to have her serve potato chips and watered down punch.
The rooftop party looks fun.
They've got balloons and shit.
Aunt Rachel is having a blast.
When Laura and Maxine spot
Willie and Waldo crashing the soiree,
they ask the guys if they wanna dance.
But Willie holds the dudes back
because they're doing something right now.
What are they doing?
Trying to decide what to spike the punch with.
Waldo says he got them because his dad is a stewardess,
which was a strong punchline in 1991
that's problematic now for a variety of reasons.
Laura foolishly tells them drinking is for losers,
not realizing how awesome tiny bottles
of airplane liquor can be.
She's ready to kick them out when Willie threatens
to take the guys with him.
Unwilling to part with this extremely replaceable
corner of horny high school bros,
Maxine tells Laura to back off.
Laura proudly declares,
she does not need to drink to have a good time.
Then proceeds to have a very bad time,
standing there, making a face
like she can smell everyone's potato chip farts
even though they're standing outdoors on a windy roof.
Steve Urkel arrives, impressed by the A lists guests,
including that guy with four teeth.
Willie teases Steve, who uses his superior intellect
to tease right back.
Willie warns Steve not to mess with him.
Steve encourages the fellows to come dance with these babes,
but Willie says they'd rather stand in the corner
and drink rum like morons.
Steve takes matters into his own hands.
He asked that guy with four teeth to put on his song,
"Do the Urkel"
and after teaching everyone three dance moves,
the entire roof instantly knows an intricate
and coordinated routine to this song
about doing an Urkel dance that exists
in the Family Matters universe
for reasons that will never be explained.
('90s pop music)
Willie's pissed that Steve has his own song and dance,
and decides to get back at him
with a secretly spiked cup of punch.
Steve gets absolutely sauced right away, toe up,
and Laura realizes something's up
because Steve is never this cool.
Waldo reveals they spiked Steve's punch.
Saucy Steve heads over to the ledge
to do the Urkel once again.
Only this time he's not quite as successful,
and his drunk ass falls off the god damn roof.
Miraculously, Steve catches the corner
of a ledge and doesn't die.
Aunt Rachel springs into action,
and climbs down a ladder to save this wasted nerd.
Aunt Rachel tight rope walks to Steve's rescue,
even though she admits to never
having tight rope walked before.
Apparently this roof is magic,
and it helps people learn complicated stuff super fast.
Rachel saves Steve, who, if he knew had to be Urkel
for another severe seasons, would have probably preferred
to plunge to his death.
The cops arrive.
And even though Willie and Waldo are
in the process of getting arrested,
because they accidentally snitched on themselves,
Laura decides to scream at them about how not cool
and dangerous their behavior was.
And the next day, Steve is so hung over
that Carl makes him his signature hangover cure,
and it works, then instantly makes Steve shit.
He just runs out the room yelling about how bad
he has to take a dump.
So what did we learn today?
A trench coat full of tiny liquor bottles
might seem like a good time, because it is,
but don't get someone drunk without their consent,
especially on a roof,
when all they've had for dinner is potato chips,
because they could really endanger themselves,
and make a 33 year old woman tight rope walk
for the first time, and you don't need alcohol to have fun
or teach all your friends a dance routine to a song
that features your name.
But if you mope around a party
and judge people for drinking,
then kick them when they're already down,
you're being a real dick
and you should check that shit, Laura.
And be careful, even with non-alcoholic drinks
because they might make your butt explode.
See you next time on A Very Special Episode.
(gentle musical tones)