your new best friend your new best friend

your new best friend

is just a Fast Food Knight

I am morbid, perverse, eccentric, paranoid, neurotic, vulgar, sarcastic, and self-righteous. I swear too much, spend too much money, think too much, and take forever to make the smallest decisions. I wear mismatched socks, eat peanut butter out of the jar,and I am always late. Sometimes I have fun at other people's expense. Sorry. I frequently ignore phone calls for no reason, and take weeks to return them. I smell nice. I hate mirrors and I love boxes. My hair is red and YES godamnit it's natural, it's called GENES - they go way back... I have hazel eyes, not brown and not green. Well, okay, sometimes they're brown or green, but they can go either way. I have a French Bulldog who was born on September 3, 2005. I chose him when he was born and took him home when he turned 10 weeks old. He'll kick your dog's ASS. Anxiety medication makes me semi-functional. One year ago on March 18th my best friend died in her sleep at the age of 22 of no apparent cause. I am now given to crying randomly, sometimes in public places. I'm fucking awesome. Did you know that? Yeah, you did. You love me, and you know what? I love you, too.