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June 23, 2016
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Who else remember the 90s??

There’s nothing us millennials love more than reminiscing about about our childhoods. We don’t get worked up about much; most people would actually say we don’t care about anything at all . Well that’s just not true. We are PASSIONATE about 90’s nostalgia. Here’s a list of the best things from the 1990’s.

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DUNKAROOS

Remember Dunkaroos?!? I’m getting so tired hearing about this debate over gun law reform. Total snore fest. Remember the good old days when everyone in our country was upper middle class kids that inhaled frosted bullshit served to us by a cartoon kangaroo wearing a backwards hat?

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POGS

Holy crud! POGS!!! Just saying the word “Pogs”gives me enough adrenaline to run through a brick wall. You know what doesn’t give me any adrenaline? Immigration. Do we let the illegal aliens in? Do we tell them to leave? Who cares! The only aliens I care about are on my limited MARS ATTACKS Pog set.

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HEY ARNOLD

Kids just don’t get it these days. They don’t make cartoons like they used to. I mean, hello, his head was shaped like a football for crying out loud! It’s something that I don’t think gets enough coverage to be honest. All I ever hear about is Donald Trump this or Hillary Clinton that.Who cares! Just elect PIZZA for president and move on. We got bigger fish to fry. There’s kids out there that have never experienced Hey Arnold.

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BABY TEETH

Wow, talk about an absolute throwback. Adult teeth are just so permanent. Millennials can’t handle that type of commitment. Baby teeth were so legit. They were so much sleeker and smaller than adult teeth.You could brush a full set of baby teeth in under 30 seconds. Or you could just not brush them! They’re gonna fall out anyway. Who cares about cavities? Bring on the Dunkaroos!

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FRIENDSHIP

Another blast from the past. Remember growing up with friends that you could rely on and that respected you for the individual that you are!? Now everyone’s like, “Why don’t you have an opinion about this or that?” Um, here’s an opinion for you: Dunkaroos rock, and you’re an annoying ballsack who cares too much about everything.

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GENERAL HAPPINESS

Remember waking up without that voice in the back of your head telling you that you’re a useless piece of shit? That was the best! It was like, “Man, life isn’t so bad.” Then everything just got so lame.Now we have to work real jobs and pay attention to actual issues. God issues are so stupid. The worst is when I can’t even understand them. It’s like, “Hello? Earth to society: no one cares! We just want Dunkaroos ya dick bags!”

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