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September 12, 2017
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Apple's new iPhone features Face ID technology. It can also block unwanted texts through its other new breakthrough: Penis ID.

Apple’s new iPhone features Face ID technology.

It can also block unwanted texts through its other new breakthrough: Penis ID.


1) Better than sex

2) Steve Jobs Theater covered in shade

3) Absurd; this isn’t feasible until at least 2025

4) I can’t wait to own one in three years!

5) We’ll take it from here, thanks

6) But it does come pre-loaded with a “Yankees suck” watch face

7) “Congratulations! You are a sloth.”

8) Don’t wanna look…okay, just a peek

9) “I got used Elmos, 3 for $10”

10) Just imagine…

11) “This video is being deleted because you need to learn how to shoot in landscape”

12) Everyone IRL

13) New bae looks like old bae

14) And you have to use your tongue to dial

15) What we really want to hear

16) History of the iPhone

17) One more thing…

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