After teaching 3rd grade for so many years, Ms. Frizzle left the classroom behind to pursue her true calling: selling out. She sold the technical schematics to the physics-defying Magic School Bus to Elon Musk for $25 million and a free Tesla. She lives out her days sipping Mai Tais on the island paradise of Bali, laughing at the fact that none of her students ever passed a standardized test.
Ms. Frizzle’s pet chameleon was tragically killed years ago by one of the school’s janitors who hated chameleons.
The wimpy child that often unwillingly participated in the class’ crazy field trips, Arnold chose a calmer life for himself as a grownup. After getting an accounting degree from a boring college (Utah State), Arnold moved to a boring place (Utah), and married a boring woman (Miss Utah). He voted for Trump because he sucks.
The class clown of the group, later in life Carlos created a comedic web-series with some college friends that got reviews such as “terrible” and “really bad” and “they should all feel bad.” Carlos now lives with his parents and is writing an Adam Sandler movie even though Adam Sandler has repeatedly told him not to and that he will sue him if he does.
Always a bookworm, Dorothy Ann grew up to become a famous author under a pen name. I don’t want to give away her secret, but the pen name rhymes with J.K. Rowling.
Always level-headed and practical, Keesha graduated with a journalism degree and now covers the White House. She often says that the Trump administration is even crazier than the period of her life when she’d constantly shrink down inside a magic bus and enter people’s bodies.
Ralphie loved sports and zoning out during class, however that didn’t save him from being tragically killed years ago by one of the school’s janitors who hated kids named Ralphie.
After high school, Phoebe joined the military and fought bravely for her country in Afghanistan. Sadly, she never returned. She didn’t die, she just continued living in Afghanistan because she liked it so much.
Always a fan of drawing, Tim decided to go the traditional route of an artist. First to art school, then to work at Starbucks, then to work at a different Starbucks, and then to Alcoholics Anonymous. He now works at Dunkin’ Donuts.
Garfield, Ms. Frizzle’s favorite student, went on to become Bill Murray in two amazing movies. He now lives with Ms. Frizzle in Bali, where they are domestic partners.
Wanda became a detective and spent most of her adult life trying to find the janitors that killed her friends Ralphie and Liz. Sadly she died after her body simply lost the will to live while watching Carlos’ terrible web-series.
The Magic School Bus
The bus was accused of being a witch and burned at the stake in 2009. However, thanks to Elon Musk, there will be millions more manufactured by 2024. They too will most likely be burned at the stake.