Billy Eichner is having a moment. Billy On The Street may or may not receive a Primetime Emmy Award (TBD this Sunday), the third season of Difficult People is currently airing on Hulu AND his turn on American Horror Story: Cult marks the first time he’s been cast as a series regular in a prominent TV drama.

So, in honor of the Funny Or Die alum, here are all the moments Billy Eichner (On American Horror Story and not Billy On The Street) scared the fucking shit out of us:

1. When He Didn’t Yell

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“For a dollar, watch me look tormented”

Eichner is known for his fun, in-your-face delivery that makes you shit your pants, in a fun way. So, it’s remarkably disturbing to find him speaking at a reasonable volume.

2. Wearing A Beekeeping Costume

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“For a dollar, don’t judge my bee hobby”

When Ally (Sarah Paulson) first sneaks over to take a gander at the new neighbors, she glimpses Eichner’s character, Harrison Wilton, in white coveralls. Even though some might’ve recognized it immediately as a beekeeping suit, for Ally (and the viewers) this was meant to suggest something nefarious. We didn’t get to see Eichner’s face until the very end, so him lumbering around in a hazmat/space suit for a hot second was pretty unsettling, in the gut area.

3. Playing A Straight-Married Gay Man

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“For a dollar, listen to me explain why I don’t fuck my wife”

Harrison and his wife, Meadow (Leslie Grossman), reveal that theirs is a marriage of convenience. Harrison is allowed “one night a week in Detroit to do whatever” so long as he doesn’t embarrass Meadow, who “doesn’t like to be touched because of her cancer.” The only thing that could top off that grim disclosure is the stare Eichner performs at the end of his speech, turning the dialogue from slightly satirical to fully feculent.

4. Revealing He’s A Fitness Trainer

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“For a dollar, sign up for my 36-month wellness package”

Ryan Murphy must have exercise-phobia because every mention of it in this show is delivered either ominously or ironically. In the case of Eichner’s admission that he’s a personal trainer at “Funtime Fitness in Northville,” it was both. Not that Eichner couldn’t believably yell at people while they run around some sort of obstacle-course…

5. Holding An AR-15

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“For a dollar, watch me nonchalantly hold this assault rifle”

Although it’s doubtful Eichner, a city kid, knows what to actually do with that thing, this image is pretty persuasive…

6. Pretending To Help

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“For a dollar, don’t panic while I actively try to make you panic”

After the power goes out, “Lesbians! We’re under attack!” is Harrison’s opener for the weirdest string of words to ever form a monologue. Barely comprehensible, it includes keywords like: terrorists, multi-state power outage, the Russians, Somalians, North Koreans, people panicking, rioters and, of course, organic beeswax candles. Clearly this character wishes Ally harm, and Eichner’s bewildering delivery is meant to confuse and provoke.
Shitting-oneself accomplished!

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