I wash born a poor nobody from the River Landsh, and through my cunning and guile I acquired power and wealth to become an influential Lord with a cool nickname: Little Finger. My shecret to shuccess is that “chaosh ish a latter.” I exshploited the War of the Five Kingsh to take control of an entire kingdom, the Vale of Arryn. But now, I’m jusht hanging around Winterfell helping Lady Shansha count grain. You shee, I’m not really sure what my current shcheme is.
That being shaid, there'sh plenty of chaosh involved in counting grain I shuppose. Though I’m not sure what ladder I’m climbing, conshidering I already maneuvered myself into being the regent of an entire kingdom.
I guessh I’m just trying to bang my former crush’s daughter. Catelyn, my dear shweet Cat. You were taken from me too shoon amidsht the chaosh of the War of the Five Kingsh. I shuppose chaosh can also be chute for many. That'sh the thing about chaosh, it’s sho chaotic.
And that leaves Sansa. What better way to honor my dear late beloved Cat than trying to bang her daughter, the Lady Sansa. Whoops, I dropped my accent. The Lady Shansha. That happensh shometimesh, I jusht go in and out of acschents. It'sh all part of the chaosh I exshploit.
Where wash I? Oh yeah, the wanting to fuck my friend'sh daughter who I have a fatherly relationship with. It'sh not creepy.
Ok, it'sh a little creepy.
But creepy can be a ladder.
A ladder to fucking.
You shee anything can be a ladder.
Now, after sheveral days, or weeks, or months - time’s really wonky these days - of shtanding around the Winterfell courtyard creepily shtaring at people, it looksh ash if I actually have a shcheme up my shleeve involving Arya.
I don’t really.
She kind of freaked me out the other day (week? month?) when she was shparring with Brienne of Tarthsh, sho I left her a note ashking if we cool.
Notes can be a ladder.
Anything, really, can be a ladder. Life is a ladder. We climb and we climb. And if you want to stop climbing and stop doing your weird accent and just chill out in Winterfell for a while, that’s fine too I guess. Ladder climbing is exhausting you guys.
I’ll figure out my scheme, just you wait. In the meantime, I’m going to count so much grain.
Little Finger’s a cool nickname, right?